Closing the Teach For America Blogging Gap
Sep 18 2012

Year 3. Day 17.

It’s hard to say goodbye to summer, even when you’re 4 weeks into the year. Was I really in Argentina a month ago? Did that trip to Brazil actually happen? Can those memories of sipping coconuts on Rio beaches already be fading?

Year three has brought an unanticipated frenzy.

First trigger: I moved to a new school. With new expectations. A new staff culture. And new modes of management. (Read: I feel out of place and unsure of how to approach the bosses.)

Stage 2 trigger: I switched grade levels. You’d think jumping from 4th to 2nd grade would be easy breezy, but that would underestimate the value of being able to work independently for extended periods of time. Working in 15 minute chunks means being on your toes. Constantly.

Escalating trigger: PLCs 3 mornings a week? I’m all for collaboration. In fact, it’s the reason I opted to switch schools. But our team isn’t particularly experienced as a collective. And “to each his own” seems to be the mentality. So how are we to use these early morning meetings?

The straw that broke the camel’s back: I seem to be painting a picture of myself as a dud. Every time I turn around, it’s as if I’ve committed another misstep in the eyes of my school’s executive. It’s demoralizing to feel like I’m doing everything wrong. No need to scold. We’re all adults. It leads me to question myself..do I lack common sense? Am I being oversensitive? Is it just a bad Monday?

I’ve never felt so unvalued. I’ve never lived more for the weekends.

Long days. Short weeks. Time flies.

Looking forward to a month from now, when routines are for real and the summer-state-of-mind dust has settled.

One Response

  1. You sound like a first-year teacher all over again, and it’s probably because you are a first-year teacher all over again! You’re in a new environment, Katja! Things will get better! Also, the little ones do require a lot more supervision. It is hard to get used to but you will get there and you will be fabulous. I, too, can’t wait for a month from now when you’re posting about how wonderful things are at your school! Good luck!

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Bottom Line: My kids must have options.

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